We were at a funeral for the elderly mother of a close friend. We'd known her since we were in high school. She'd been sick the past several years, on dialysis, her eyesight gone, and had finally decided at age 82 that enough was enough.
Liberated from dialysis, she spent her last seven weeks surrounded by her family in her home, her husband of 62 years at her side as he was all along. Hospice came to make her comfortable and it was there that she died.
So there we were at the funeral sitting next to the parents of my good friend Rhonda, who passed away six years ago of cancer. The woman we were there to commemorate had been Rhonda's mother-in-law.
It's always good to be with Rhonda's parents. We live far away and don't get to see them but for weddings, graduations and funerals. I guess that's the silver lining in funerals, if there is such a thing.
Early in the service, the pastor called for those attending to sing the hymn, "Borning Cry." Rhonda's dad said, "Uh-oh, this always makes her cry," referring to his wife.
Looking at the lyrics, I could see why.
"I was there to hear your borning cry, I'll be there when you are old ..."
You see, not only did they lose Rhonda too soon, in her late 40s, they also lost a son. In his prime, he was on that flight that crashed in Detroit one summer 22 years ago with no survivors save but one little girl.
Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Rhonda's dad take his wife's hand as people began singing. Fifty-plus years together, they have had. Five children, three left.
Watching him instinctively reach out to comfort her, tears came to my eyes.
Today, when so many marriages end in divorce, you can't help but be moved by love and commitment that spans a lifetime.
In the case of the woman who had died, her husband had been caring for her for the past three years. Greeting guests as they arrived at the funeral home, he stood alone, looking a bit dazed, but embracing the comfort and concern visitors offered.
Then there were these two, having weathered not one, but two losses that most parents can't imagine enduring.
After, we talked and joked at the luncheon. She teased him and he gave it right back. They've always been big travelers and she wants to go to Africa next; he complains that with eyesight so bad he can no longer drive, she wants to take him sightseeing?
But behind it all, you see the love, and the strength that comes of managing to stick together through the worst that life can hand out. It's inspiring, and humbling.
And it just plain made me glad.
Kathy Gibbons can be reached at gibbonskath@yahoo.com.
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