I ran into a friend outside a Rotary meeting this spring, the day the exchange students were in charge of the program.
My 16-year-old son left last month for a year in Sweden.
"I was always too selfish to do that," my friend said about his own children. "They went on summer exchanges, but nothing for a whole year."
"I think it's the opposite," I said. "I'm the one being selfish. I get a whole year without a teenager."
I love my son, but there's something to be said for letting someone else raise him for a year. Even though I'm experiencing an empty nest years before I thought I would, I'm having a blast.
I've been staying out late, going to movies and gathering with friends. I cleaned the house and it stayed clean. I only do laundry twice a week at most, not every other day.
I'm selfish enough to enjoy not being responsible for someone else's schedule or someone else's well-being. I can eat sweet corn for dinner (and only sweet corn) or skip dinner altogether.
I do miss my son -- he's funny and smart and a joy to be around -- but it's a lot less than I thought it would be. His excitement about spending a year in Europe rubbed off on me, so I'm mainly happy, not lonely.
Just days before he left, we got some last bit of paperwork that about sent me over the edge. I dumped it on his lap. "Do it yourself," I said. "I won't be there next year to do this stuff for you."
It was a defining moment for me. I wasn't going to be around. He was going to have to figure out how to get from here to there and back again -- plus all the bits in between -- on his own.
Sending off your only child is one of the biggest leaps of faith. I'm trusting the Swedes, Rotary and, yes, my son to make sure he has a happy, safe and fun year.
But it's also liberating. Raising children is supposed to be a finite task. They get to a certain point and you're done. Sure, you're still a part of their lives and you can still love them and hang out with them, but they also have to fend for themselves. I may be getting to this part of child-rearing earlier than most, but it's inevitable for all of us.
Letting go is one of the toughest things parents do, but it's also a graduation of sorts. If you've done your work, you're going to pass, which means you're not going to be needed anymore.
That's a good thing.
As the season of empty-nesting hits, when kids take off this month for college and beyond, parents all over the place will be wrestling with their own emotions.
Enjoy it, I say. Drive right past the grocery store. Give the washing machine a break. Stay out late.
Jodee Taylor can be reached at jtaylor@record-eagle.com.
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