Traverse City Record-Eagle

Columns

September 7, 2008

Jodee Taylor: Ties deep with picnic group

What do you call someone who fits in between "family" and "friend"?

Everybody seems to have them. Maybe it's your mom's best friend, who was at your house so often you absentmindedly asked her what was for supper. You grew up and stayed close, finding the perfect card for her when you weren't even looking or giving her Christmas presents because you knew what she wanted, not because you felt obligated to gift her. Maybe you call her "Aunt" something or maybe you just call her.

Who are the people who aren't technically kin, but they're still the people you depend on, people you'd take a bullet for, people whose dirty laundry you're familiar with but you still love them?

For me, it's the Labor Day picnic people.

For more than 50 years, four families have been getting together for a Labor Day picnic, which isn't even held on Labor Day anymore because of school and work and travel.

It's a group that started in the '50s with four couples, all fresh to Traverse City and searching for things to connect them to their new home. They formed a bond that has extended to three generations.

These are the people that, if your parents died, they would become your guardians (that one actually was a legal designation). These are the people who are there when a marriage or career or life begins, but also when a marriage, career or life ends. They're the first ones you call when there's a diagnosis, an arrest or papers are served. But they're also the first ones called when there's a recovery, an engagement or a promotion.

To use one of my favorite crass phrases, these aren't the friends you call when you move; these are the friends you call when you move bodies.

Of the original eight picnickers, only three are still alive. They and their progeny continue to gather yearly and keep in touch the rest of the time, so that on the last Sunday before school starts, we pick up where we left off, whether it was an e-mail from a week ago or the picnic from a year ago.

When someone marries into the group, they quickly learn -- when a need to travel or phone or somehow support one of the group comes up -- that the only explanation needed is, "She's a Labor Day picnic person."

This isn't the kind of group that hosts a baby shower, although they'd be the first to step up if childcare is needed. College graduation gifts are good, but they're more apt to offer up a list of names of people who are hiring. They might send a wedding present, but they're more likely to host a rehearsal dinner or offer up a house for a honeymoon.

Come to think of it, those are the kinds of things a mom or dad or brother or sister would do. The only things missing are the genes.

Jodee Taylor can be reached at jtaylor@record-eagle.com.

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