By ALBERT LEWIS
When we were children we learned the three R's -- reading, writing and arithmetic. If learned well, these three skills would provide us with the necessary building blocks for success in some parts of our lives and careers.
For many of us above the age of 65, reading and writing continue to be joyous skills and, during tax season, knowing how to add and subtract the appropriate numbers is a necessary ability.
Having worked and earned a living, many of us are now discovering a new and equally important triplet: the three "G's" -- guilt, gratitude and graciousness.
As we look at the world within our own families, just outside our doors and around the world, we see many who lack even the basic necessities for daily living. They are inadequately fed, perhaps homeless or on the verge of homelessness and unemployable.
All this is happening as we are planning our next major purchase, considering the time for a vacation or just living very well. For some a sense of guilt wells up and an almost primordial voice chides, "You should feel guilty that you have so much while others do not."
Some hear the voice and their joy is muted. Others deny its very existence. And some who listen to a deeper inner voice are able to move from the elemental sense of guilt to one of gratitude: "My family and I have worked hard and we are able to rejoice and express gratitude for what we have and how we are able to live."
This sense of genuine gratitude is the polar opposite of the, "I pulled myself up by the bootstraps" attitude. To live in the world of "I pulled myself together and did what was necessary" denies multiple realities in the world of the other and minimizes support and encouragement along our own way. But, to express gratitude, a gratefulness that celebrates the moments and memories that have brought us our happiness is to live beyond the accounts and amounts, it can lead us into the realm of graciousness.
Graciousness encourages us to accept and appreciate the other for who and where he/she is in life. It promotes recognition of the other as worthy simply because he is alive and coping with life. It enables us to see former opportunities and "breaks" as blessings: Sometimes it even heartens us to open ourselves in such a way that we give effortlessly and without knowing we are doing so. Something in us seems to whisper: "Now is a moment for you to give much, lose nothing and live fully."
Reading, writing and even arithmetic may lead us to a sense of success. Guilt, gratitude and graciousness can lead us to a world of significance. We need the three R's and the three G's. These are skills for early and late life.
Albert Micah Lewis is rabbi of Congregation Beth El in Traverse City. His latest book is "Soul Sounds, Reflections on Life."
