January is a time of beginnings. The first month of the year is full of new starts and goals. It is also a time filled with unknowns. It was about this time, 23 years ago, that I moved to Traverse City.
Imagine my surprise when I learned that the neighbor directly behind me was a wheelchair user. He'd been injured at age 19 and had used an electric wheelchair for many years. He was full of helpful ideas for my new life in the north. He's been a good friend and rare role model for living a long life with a disability like ours.
We've all been new at something, whether it's parenthood, retirement, school, employment, singlehood or recovery. Sometimes we've been thrown into our new status by way of sudden illness, accident or loss. Other times, our transition is more gradual or planned for. Often we're forced to learn so much new information in a short amount of time that we wonder if we can do it -- we feel like we'll explode from overload. Equally, our parents, spouses, siblings and friends are learning with us.
I've been thinking about beginnings. In 1976, how did I learn to be a person with a disability in the disability community?
My disability was acquired by way of a spinal stroke. I didn't have a congenital disability, which would have allowed me from birth to learn how to deal with it. In one hour, in one day, my life changed. Being a person with a disability was not something my parents or family could model for me. Even society at-large couldn't orientate me because they didn't really know much about disability.
In the beginning, there was so much I needed to know. I needed retraining for most activities of daily living from cooking and bathing to dressing, to using a toilet and driving. I had to learn how to use a wheelchair and other equipment like a shower chair and sliding board. I had to manage my new body.
I needed advice on returning to my university. I wanted to know how to ask for help and how to deal with unwanted staring. I wanted to learn to ride a hand-pedaled bicycle. I REALLY needed guidance with dating and intimate relationships. What I longed for was self-sufficiency.
Learning my new life meant that I first had to utilize all the professional help I had during my rehabilitation at the University of Michigan hospital.
Then after my discharge, I looked at disability books, films, letters and magazines. I went to conferences -- in particular, the President's Employment of the Handicapped in Washington, D.C. This gave me a national perspective on disability. I was one of several thousand people with disabilities.
I researched famous people including Helen Keller, John Hockenberry and Steven Hawking, disability activists Harriet McBride, Dan Acosta, Yvonne Duffy and Detroit Free Press columnist Jim Neubacher. I read the comic strip "Bloom County." I even observed people on the Jerry Lewis telethon. I entered the Ms. Wheelchair Pageants not necessarily to compete, but to meet other women with disabilities. I lived each day and learned from anyone with a disability.
Little can compare to the intimacy we have with someone who has been where we are or is there with us now. I have this intimacy with a few women with disabilities. I've seen my able-bodied female friends and family members watch me in these relationships. As close as I am to them, they know they aren't a part of this world with me. These few women not only experience the same world I do, but they do so with the same spirit, humor and analysis as me.
Now, I have become one of the guides to others joining the disability community. Sometimes people reject my help, especially in the beginning. They need to believe they can learn everything by themselves. Some will contact me later. Others won't at all. Everyone learns in their own way.
Over the years, I've seen my personality remain constant. I'm pretty much the same person I was before my stroke. This truth has helped me realize that the major aspect of who I am hasn't really changed; it isn't brand new. That's what I've really learned. That's what helped me learn everything else.
Susan Odgers, a resident of Traverse City for the past 23 years, has used a wheelchair for 33 years. She is a faculty member at Northwestern Michigan College and Grand Valley State University. She can be reached via the Record-Eagle. For more Adapted in TC columns, log on to record-eagle.com/susanodgers.
Scales and snow
-- Resolving to lose weight this year? Weight Watchers in Traverse City has a wheelchair accessible scale; GT Crossings, 2572 Crossing Circle, 941-5797.
-- The Traverse City Clerk's office has a list of the ordinances related to street and sidewalk snow and ice cleanup. Contact TC Clerk Debbra Curtiss, 922-4480 or tcclerk@ci.traverse-city.mi.us
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