Traverse City Record-Eagle

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March 30, 2008

Kathy Gibbons: Wanted: Parents for six

BY KATHY GIBBONS

A feature that always made an impression on me in another newspaper was "A Child is Waiting." It ran regularly, with pictures and little profiles of children available for adoption.

Well, here in Traverse City six children are waiting — all in one family. And Child and Family Services is hoping against hope that they can find one set of parents to take them all.

That would be no small task. Ranging in age from 3 to 14, the kids have moved around and been through a lot. Their mother was a heavy substance abuser and they endured chronic abuse and neglect. When you count three additional kids who are older, her children were in and out of foster care regularly for 15 years.

The latest foster placement for the youngest six came after a seventh child, now 17, finally told authorities about the abuse at home last April. Their mother's rights were terminated a few months ago.

Meanwhile, the children's dads had lost their rights, too — the man who fathered the youngest two for abusing all of the children. Their mom just remarried him, by the way, and has moved to South Dakota.

Lucky for the kids. Because they have been able to get a taste of normal family life in the foster home they have shared since. Their foster mom said they have bonded with new friends and schools here, and to her and her husband, whom the children refer to as "mom and dad." They have come to know stability, security and love.

At the same time, several are dealing with issues that are fallout from before.

"The younger two are fetal alcohol syndrome, and the younger boy is going through diagnostic evaluation," said their foster mom. "These are not children you're going to bring into your home (thinking), 'The oldest is 14, she can baby sit and we'll go out.' They need constant supervision."

The foster mom is 50, her husband 55; they've been doing foster care for 16 years and have two adult children. They don't feel they can take on all six for the long haul.

But several of the older ones want to stay with them, and they would be willing to adopt. In that event, the plan would be to find another family nearby to adopt the others — parents open to the idea of the two households having frequent contact to keep the brothers and sisters close.

And that could be an option if one set of parents can't be found to adopt the whole group, said Child and Family Services Adoption Specialist Laura Field. The state places top priority on keeping sibling groups together, and so that avenue must be exhausted first, said Field. With no prospective parents coming forward around here to take all six, the children are now posted on a state adoption Web site to see if there are parents somewhere else who might want them.

But that would mean leaving their schools and community again. And that type of disruption is something that none of the adults looking out for these kids now wants.

So they contacted us, looking for help to get the word out. They still hope to find one set of parents in this area to adopt all six, so the children don't have to move away. And speaking of the kids:

The oldest, a 14-year-old girl, is in track, loves to dance and as a freshman, "is enjoying and embracing that and doesn't want to leave that environment," said her foster mom.

Next up is a 13-year-old girl who her foster mom said is "bright and fun loving."

There's another girl, 11, who is up on the latest trends and celebrity news and who Michelle Overmire, the kids' foster care specialist at Child and Family Services, described as "a character."

A 9-year-old boy is quiet, more introverted than his older sisters, Overmire said.

As for the youngest two, Overmire described them as "miracle kids." The boy came into foster care at age 4 in diapers, barely speaking; his little sister, then 2, didn't talk at all, "she just made noises," Overmire said. Now 5 and 3, "they both are just rattling off the words."

"Overall, they are physically healthy," said their foster mom. "There is some speech and hearing impairments, but nobody's on crutches or hurt.

"They are gorgeous children. They are all joyful, they are very engaging. Some are more independent than others. They are beautiful kids."

If Overmire were to write an ad for their adoptive parents, she said it would go like this:

"WANTED — Loving and nurturing home, somebody who's dedicated to addressing some of the special needs the children may have now and in the future, and can provide unconditional support and time."

Interested? Call 946-8975.

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