Traverse City Record-Eagle

Kathy Gibbons: Northern Living

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December 21, 2009

Kathy Gibbons: Peace, the greatest gift

By KATHY GIBBONS

In this season of peace and joy, a lot of people are likely struggling to find those feelings in themselves right now.

I've heard from readers coping with unemployment, foreclosure and bankruptcy who say that on the other side of all of this, they wish only for simplicity. They don't want their lives to be as cluttered going forward, whether it's bills in the mailbox or toys in the garage, and are working toward that.

Meanwhile, Christmas is here.

There are holiday truces in war. What about a holiday truce for those feeling the dismal economy and its fallout the most?

I have experienced what it's like to live in constant worry, to wake up at 3 a.m., eyes darting open, immediately anxious, remembering reality. There are people I know personally and from e-mails through this column, dealing with that right now.

At Christmas, if you have the chance to be with family and other people you care about, embrace it and leave the rest at the door for a few hours or a day if you can.

Maybe you can't do what you've done in the past. Except for a Christmas when, as a child, my grandparents gave me a suitcase full of presents, I don't particularly think of gifts when I think of Christmas.

What I do remember is the year grandma dropped the yams. Snuggling with my daughter to watch "White Christmas." Seven toddlers and what seemed like as many dogs wreaking havoc under the tree when my children were small and we gathered with my siblings and their kids. The year my parents' septic system overflowed between breakfast and dinner with about 30 people in the house.

Those are the things that create memories. Not gifts. If you can't buy the number and type of presents that you used to, do what you can, and let that be enough.

My guess is most of those struggling right now crave peace more than anything. Peace from worry. From crushing debt and creditor phone calls that one woman told me came even on Thanksgiving. From not being able to do what they want to for their children.

Now, at Christmas, if you haven't had it, give yourself a little taste of that peace.

Recently, I talked to an old friend who hit on hard times about 10 years ago, ahead of the curve. She and her husband are still each working two jobs, but they have a home again. Their kids grew up and somehow went to college and are making it.

Through it all, she never lost sight of what's important to her -- her family. She has grandchildren now, and her joy at that is infectious.

Last week, I saw a Christmas letter in which the sender wrote, "Life is good, even when it's hard."

I think she's right.

Kathy Gibbons can be reached at gibbonskath@yahoo.com. For more of Kathy's columns, log on to record-eagle.com/kathygibbons.

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