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July 19, 2010

Jodee Taylor: Relearning how to be a mother

By Jodee Taylor jtaylor@record-eagle.com

TRAVERSE CITY — I have to relearn how to be a mother.

My son, who has been gone for a year as a Rotary exchange student in Sweden, is due back this week.

I’ve never seen him as a 17 year old.

In fact, I’ve barely heard from him at all the past year.

He’s posted sporadically on Facebook, and we’ve Skyped a handful of times. If his Swedish brother hadn’t put up a picture a month ago, I’m not sure I would have known whom to pick up at the airport.

And while I may recognize the kid, I’m pretty sure most things about him have changed.

He speaks a new language. He can get himself from one end of Europe to another. He’s been above the Arctic Circle, read Stieg Larsson’s “Millenium” trilogy in Swedish and watched World Cup games with Dutch fans in a Berlin bar.

And now he’ll be back in good ol’ Traverse City. Good luck with that.

Meanwhile, I’ve changed too.

I haven’t had to follow anyone else’s schedule. I could stop at a friend’s after work and get home whenever I wanted. I didn’t have to make a sit-down family dinner and could slurp yogurt over the sink. I could let the laundry pile up until I ran out of clothes.

I went an entire weekend this winter without leaving the house. I read and cleaned and watched movies, and it was deliriously wonderful. But it’s also one of those things you don’t get to do much when you have a kid who has activities and appointments and friends to see.

And now those heady days are over.

I am, of course, quite excited to see my son. I miss the philosophical and political discussions around the breakfast table, the flurry of activity that comes with having a kid in the house and the contact with the next generation in general.

I’m sure we’ll find our new normal and continue to delight in each other’s company. But it’s going to take time and some getting used to.

I’ll have to listen to how wonderful Europe is, how brilliant Sweden is and how much fun it is to watch soccer with people who really know what’s going on.

I’ll nod and listen and smile until my face hurts, if that’s what it takes.

Because, in the long run, the main emotion I’m going to be feeling about all this is jealousy. I’m thrilled to have a worldly son who speaks a foreign language and can travel effortlessly across multiple borders.

But it should be me.

Jodee Taylor can be reached at jtaylor@record-eagle.com.

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