I’m alone in my mom’s apartment, surrounded by her things: each one a memory, a chapter in her life.
I’ve come here often in the three weeks since she died, to hold what she once touched, to take in her scent, to cry with abandon or just to sit quietly and remember.
My sister calls me a sensory person, and perhaps I am. All I know is that being here, among her familiar possessions, gives me a kind of comfort I can’t find anywhere else.
As I walk from room to room, opening cupboards and drawers, it’s her personality that I seek and find.
It’s there in the three books she was reading at once, the computer on which she played, shopped and learned.
It’s there in the Barn Goddess T-shirt and the canvas barn jacket, the “wellies” containing bits of hay. In the South Beach cap and the blue jeans purse and the colorful array of rubber clogs with charms.
It’s there in the scents of lavender and lily, the Auden poem she had framed. In the homespun checked tablecloths, the cast iron trivets, the teapots and egg cups and crumpets.
It’s there in the rows of homegrown herbs, the pantry spices arranged alphabetically. In the recipes for bean ragout and green pepper stir-fry, in a hand that’s part-cursive, part-print.
It’s there in the cameo locket my dad gave her when they married and the ankle bracelet she bought in her 70s. In the faded gold nurse’s namepin, the cellphone with rhinestone-letter charm, the glasses with beaded lanyards she was always misplacing.
It’s there in the dog figurines and the pig folk art and the collection of animal salt-and-peppers. In the photos of an angry bluebird and of an old Irish farmer and his nag.
It’s there in all the things that followed her from the house I grew up in to the last place she called home as a widow. From the down comforter that once covered my grandfather to the bird scissors my grandmother used to snip thread. From the furry yellow robe my dad gave her to the bedroom set he painted antique green.
Everywhere I look, in fact, I see my mom — in all her glorious contradiction.
So for now, for as long as I need to, I’ll keep her apartment as it is: a place filled not just with objects but with her presence.
Reach staff writer Marta Hepler Drahos at mdrahos@record-eagle.com.
Region
Related Photos
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Marta Hepler Drahos
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Sally Hepler and her South Beach cap. Special to the Record-Eagle
Marta Hepler Drahos: Seeing Mom everywhere
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Housing project 'moving forward'
Traverse City commissioners recently approved what officials expect to be the last change in long-running negotiations to sell city property near the former railroad depot off Eighth Street to two affordable housing agencies.
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Septic tank tax appears inevitable
A $30 to $40 yearly tax assessment on properties with septic tanks in Grand Traverse County and Leelanau's Elmwood Township appears inevitable.
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DEQ seeks public input on Brown Bridge Dam removal
The state Department of Environmental Quality seeks public comment on Traverse City's request for a permit to remove Brown Bridge Dam and restore three miles of Boardman River channel.
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Man charged in Crystal Lake incident
A downstate man who attempted to evade authorities by jumping into Crystal Lake spent his Memorial Day weekend in jail.
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Traverse City to expand TC Saves energy program
The city is expanding a program designed to help residents save on their energy bills.
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Elk Lake boat launch closed for repairs
The Elk Lake boat launch located three miles south of Kewadin is temporarily closed for repairs.
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Suspect arrested in parking meter thefts
Police arrested a man they said stole parking meters in Traverse City.
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TC Central, West on another 'best' list
Two Traverse City high schools made another national list of the best in the country.
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Traverse City man faces theft charge
A Traverse City man faces a criminal charge after police believe he stole cash and other items from a friend's parents.
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Detroit chamber wants help for new campaign
The Detroit Regional Chamber is asking private companies to contribute $2 million a year for a new campaign to promote economic development in southeastern Michigan.
Continued ... - Tuesday, May 29, 2012
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Video: 'Taps' at Memorial Day service at Oakwood Cemetery
An excerpt of horn player Don Sattler and drummer David Sattler performing "Taps" at the conclusion of the Memorial Day service at Traverse City's Oakwood Cemetery on Monday, May. 28, 2012.
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Memorial Day: Traverse City honors heroes
A Memorial Day ceremony included a recitation of the Gettysburg Address, a rifle salute, the playing of "Taps" and a speech from Grand Traverse County Board of Commissioners Chairman Larry Inman.
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Get to work without using your car
- Monday, May 28, 2012
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City to discontinue spring cleanup
City crews will stop collecting residents' clutter each spring.
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Terry Wooten: WWII soldier's story told in poems
Jack Miller, a survivor of the Bataan Death March and a POW during World War II, won't be in any Memorial Day parades today.
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Remembering the fallen veterans
Below is a list of military veterans from the region who died during the past year (May 28, 2011, through May 25, 2012).
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Memorial Day events
A roundup of Memorial Day-related events in northern Michigan:
Continued ... - Sunday, May 27, 2012
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Travel season begins
Tourism analysts at Michigan State University project a 3 percent increase in Michigan travel volume this year.
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Restored cemetery to be honored on Memorial Day
The "Old Ones" buried in the once-overgrown and abandoned Onominese Indian Cemetery near Northport will be honored in a Memorial Day service and traditional re-dedication ceremony.
Continued ... - 2012 Memorial Day weekend event listing
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Underwater archaeology school returns to NMC
People from around the world will dive deep into the study of underwater archaeology next month at Northwestern Michigan College.
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Change may be on the way for kindergarten cutoff date
State lawmakers are considering moving up the cutoff date for kindergarten to level the academic playing field for new students, but school officials in Traverse City said it's more important to focus on universal preschool.
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Paving under way on 6.5-mile stretch of Leelanau Trail
Cyclists soon find a much smoother ride from Traverse City to Suttons Bay.
Continued ... - Saturday, May 26, 2012
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July 4 to sparkle for years to come
Local supporters saved the threatened patriotic pyrotechnics last year. Now, the group launched the nonprofit Traverse City Boom Boom Club to plan and pay for an annual Independence Day show.
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GT Road Commission won't renew Gillis' contract
Mary Gillis' bosses refused to renew her contract, so the Grand Traverse County Road Commission's manager has to figure out her next move.
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